


Rebirth

by savingrin



Series: The Feeling You Give Me [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Implied Relationship, M/M, Reflecting on death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:00:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24800440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/savingrin/pseuds/savingrin
Summary: It’s been two years since Kita’s grandma has passed. Two years since those flames wiped everything away.
Relationships: Kita Shinsuke/Miya Atsumu
Series: The Feeling You Give Me [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1791094
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	Rebirth

Kita watched the fire flicker across the coals, as the flames danced and died out. 

_How familiar._

“Ya just gonna stare at the fire all night,” a voice asked behind him. Kita turned around to find Atsumu standing there, two cups of tea in his hands. Kita took one and Atsumu sat down beside him.

“I got lost in thought, I guess.”

The blonde raised his eyebrows at that, “Hm? Whatcha worryin’ about?”

Kita laughed weakly, “It’s nothing.”

And yet Atsumu waited on his answer, he waited as to why Kita always found himself lost in the waves of light and heat and colour.

“I was just thinking about how familiar the flames were.”

* * *

Kita and Atsumu were polar opposites. Where one was calm, reliable, and steadfast, the other was rash, blunt, and headstrong. They were different, but they were two sides of the same coin. 

Atsumu understood this, but he also understood what Kita couldn’t seem to voice. 

“It still bothers you, doesn’t it,” Atsumu asked Kita. 

“What does?”

“Your grandmother, the fire.”

Kita always walked away whenever anyone brought up the events of two years ago. He couldn’t stand to remember the fire flickering across the wood of his grandma’s house, he wanted to forget the way he watched the flames dance and die out.

“How familiar,” Atsumu once heard him whisper. How familiar the feeling of losing what you loved most was. The way that flames could be there, burning bright and seemingly everlasting, only to vanish in the next instant, is the same way that someone can be present one moment and yet be gone the next.

“We don’t need memories,” was the Inarizaki banner, and yet, memories were all Kita would ever have.

* * *

Kita remembered that night like it was yesterday. He saw it when he dreamt, when he woke up, when he was in class. He saw it every living hour, as the memories, both visible and audible relentlessly wracked his brain day and night.

Memories were what held together and tore Kita apart.

* * *

“Yer gonna hafta face it soon,” Atsumu said.

Kita sighed.

* * *

Kita’s grandma always told him that “there is always someone watching.” And while she likely was referring to gods, Kita found himself thinking of Atsumu.

Atsumu had always been by his side since what had happened two years ago.

_How strange, to think that someone like him would ever learn to take care of others…_

Kita was thankful for Atsumu, he really was. He was thankful for all he had done, so it was unfortunate that he too reminded Kita of his grandma and what had happened.

* * *

Kita was lying in bed when it overwhelmed him. All of those emotions that he had suppressed and left to burn alongside his grandma came roaring to life and smothered his lungs with ash and smoke. Kita choked on the sobs that wracked through him as he fought to gain control of his shaking body.

But then someone came crashing through his bedroom door. Kita stared up at the man, still unable to stop his trembling.

“Atsumu.”

The blonde sat beside Kita and pulled him in, arms wrapping around his body and holding on for dear life.

“Kita.”

* * *

“Yer gonna hafta face it soon,” Atsumu said.

Kita sighed. Atsumu snapped.

“Don’t gimme that shit, Kita. You and I both know you aren’t about that.”

Kita didn’t meet his gaze.

“I can’t.”

“Bullshit.”

“Atsumu, I said I _can’t_.”

“And what would yer grandma say, huh? Would she agree with the way you’ve given up?”

Atsumu got in Kita’s face.

“That night scared me, Kita. Finding you shaking and crying scared me more than I wanna say.”

Kita blinked, eyes wide.

“What happened that night is never happening again, ya hear? We’re gonna figure this shit out ‘cause Kita, none of us can stand seeing you like this anymore.”

Kita finally met Atsumu’s eyes and nodded.

“Okay.”

* * *

Kita never got to say goodbye, that’s what bothered him the most. The fire that tore through his grandma’s house had been so sudden and ravenous that the firefighters hadn’t been able to save her in time. It was the fact that one moment, his grandma was there, alive and well in the world, and then she was gone. 

“We don’t need memories,” was the Inarizaki banner, and yet for his grandma, memories were now all Kita would ever have.

He finally understood that having memories was okay, even if it was all you’d ever have from now until the day you left the earth.

He finally understood that just like those flames dancing and dying out in a moment's notice, we could too.

* * *

Fire had a new meaning to Kita. No longer did it symbolize death and destruction, but rather new life.

Kita thought about the mythical phoenix and he thought about what he was feeling.

_It feels like rebirth._


End file.
